So hung foo

            HUNGURRRRRRRRRRRR…. This is what fasting makes us feel ;) But should it not make us feel something more? Last Friday in class we had a speaker come to us and explain the King's Stomach. This idea is that your stomach controls you, you do not control your stomach. This lead into our reading and exercise for the week; Fasting. We did not have to fast from food, it could be from video games or really anything that we thought controlled us more than we controlled it. So my roommate and I decided to fast from fast food. We go and get fast food all the time, basically we know each other's McDonald's orders because we go there so often. I know she doesn't get Ice in her drink and she knows I ONLY drink Diet Coke. I know she needs a million packets of ketchup and says she only needs a couple because she is trying to cut back but goes back for one more. She knows I had a falling out with Ketchup a while back and barbeque sauce is a necessity to complete my meal. Basically its bad.

            So for this exercise we intended to not go to get fast-food, did I mention we frequent Taco Bell often as well. Burger King is on the mind occasionally as well. We decided that instead of going out for dinner all the time, we would make our own food and attempt to use all of our meals in the Kitchen for the week.

            So far this has been going well. Except last night I did go to Subway. But I justified it because it is not super unhealthy fast food. Let me just say this. Something I have realized is that I get fast food because I am lazy. I have the tendency to look at the food I have in my dorm room and think McDonalds sounds better, or its faster, or I don’t want to make anything. It is really because I am lazy. To be honest the microwave is not fast enough. I don’t think I am the only one to say this but if I am well at least I am honest with myself. Not going and getting fast food this week has not been too bad. First and for most it saves money which as a poor college student I always need money. Another thing is I do realize how God blesses me, I mean not many people can afford food, and I have food enough to eat in my dorm and have the opportunity to go out to eat. I plan on attempting to make it through the whole week not going and getting fast food, I think I can make it. But I do have to honestly say that I have the kings stomach for more than just food. I put on makeup because I want to impress others, I play video games because I am procrastinating against homework or I am just board. I think the Kings Stomach is present in everyone's life for more than just food. I think we need to practice fasting for more than just ourselves. I think we need to practice fasting so when we begin the journey, we begin with God and when we are at the lowest we turn to God. When we are at the highest we need to learn to Go to God, and when it is just another day, we need to turn to God. It is hard for me to remember this, it is hard for everyone. So I challenge you to turn to God with everything.

~Em

Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name,

            For this post, I am suppose to be telling you all about prayer…. But I cannot…. I can tell you that the idea of prayer is all about opening up to communication with God. I can tell you about the basics, what prayer is, and why it is important. All the technical things. But I do not know how to get across what prayer actually means to me.

            I should probably begin by telling you my plan of action for this weekend. There was none. (Sorry Professor) But life got in the way. I was in a car accident on Thursday and this pretty much shaped my weekend. I did not read until right now to be honest.

            But I can tell you a little life experience. You see my parents have taught me how to pray all my life, they taught me the before bed prayers, what to pray before and after I ate, what to pray out of the bible, (did you catch my title J) They taught me well enough that I could recite any of these prayers if you asked. As I got older my parents even taught me how to pray my own prayers, how to pray about my day, how to really shape my prayers if that makes any sense. But when it comes down to it I am the worst prayer ever. I pray before bed… When I remember. I pray before I eat, If I think about it. My usual prayers consist of when I take a shower and when something important happens. I honestly pray when I think about it.

            BUT all this being said, this weekend has oddly changed my prayer life. As I sat in my car after the accident all I could think was the LORD's prayer.

            "Our father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the KINGDOM and the POWER and the GLORY FOREVER. Amen."

            As people were freaking our around me, I think I had this peace in prayer. I knew for a fact that everything was going to be okay, because God is with me. Honestly the only reason I was upset was because of my poor car…. RIP…. He is no longer with us. L tears…. (may I take a moment to say this is why people do not name their cars… When they are lost to an accident it is a billion times worse poor Grandpa…. I learned how to drive with him L)

            Back to the main point J through this story, I believe what I am trying to say is when we root our lives in prayer we have a better sense of calm. When we have that open dialog with God, constantly throughout our days life is better, but I realize how I need to learn to pray not just as I go, but I need to take time to sit at night or in the day and really pray. Pray for my family and friends, pray for people who are suffering and are in need of help. So I will end this journal in prayer, I will pray for you! Readers whoever you are, I will pray for my family and friends, For people who are suffering and in need of someone.

I am praying for you

-Em

Meditation

Okay so this past week in class when we were told that we had to read on meditation I was defiantly thrown off. I have always assumed Meditation was not really an aspect of the Christian life. I understand the bible says "Meditate on my words day and night" but I never really gave this too much though. Basically I ignored it. I thought meditation was for Monks and weird people in the movies who could float. So it was interesting to get assigned the task of Meditation. Basically the idea of meditation taking a moment to reflect on what God has done for you. This could be something as easy as taking a moment to realize that although you have a janeky car, you got back to school safely. (I own a 1992 Ford Taurus, his name is grandpa and let me tell you he is on is last leg....) OR after reading your bible, taking time to just think and pray about what you have read.

(Backtracking) This year me and my dad have decided to attempt yet again reading the bible in a year. This year unlike any other year we decided to start in the New Testament (Matthew) instead of beginning in the Old Testament (Genesis). Since we have been doing this I decided what better way to practice meditation than taking an aspect of life that I already have set in place, and expanding it! I wanted to take my bible and read and after I read through the verses for the day, I wanted to sit and reflect on what I read. Pray about it. Take time to really soak in what I have read.

Amazingly this time I actually accomplished what I set out to do. Basically as I read I kept thinking one thing! Jesus is AWESOME! As I sat and read I was just in aww of all that he has done! His teachings, how he talked to people!!!! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am about reading my bible!!!! (I apologize for all the exclamation marks :)) I was so excited to sit and read my bible. I came to my bible reading not only spending 15 minuets reading my bible, But than I sat for another hour thinking about what I read, praying and texting my dad about all I read! HOW COOL IS THAT!!!!!!!

I do not think I have ever been so excited about bible reading before. I think I have always come to reading my bible as a chore, as something I had to do because I was supposed to be a "good" Christian. But I think taking time to meditate on what I have read has really changed my heart toward what the bible has to say and how God is speaking to me through his word. I think this is a great way to approach the bible. Taking time to not only read but to also think about what those words mean to your life. Now I am not saying sit for an extra hour, that may be a little excessive.... But give me some credit I am at a bible college this is not out of the usual (at least I don't think) But I am saying if you read right before bed, in your prayers ask God to guide you like the people you are reading about. Or help me to learn from what i have read. Or if you read your bible at lunch take a moment before you eat to ask God to speak to you through the reading of his word and purposefully take a moment to think about what you are reading. Like usual I am not sure if I have made any sense  But this is what I have thought about as I meditated on God's word this weekend. I also want to point out that this is a practice I want to continue, even if it is not daily.

Have a great week!!!

-Em

Public Confession.... Or not that is alright by me :/

            For class reading this time through we happened to read about public confession. The basic Idea is that it is freeing to confess your "sins" to other believers. Let me tell you something about me this is TOTTALY NOT okay by me. I am not the type of person to sit down with someone and tell them my inner most secrets with someone, I promise I have gone through the counseling sessions and let me tell you all I got was a load of "how does that make you feel?" This is not alright by me….

            To explain this Idea further it is also about being able to forgive ourselves for the sins we have committed. It is about changing your ways so that they are more pleasing to God and in a way more pleasing to ourselves. By this I mean it is about changing your way so that we don't always feel guilt and self loathing for the demons in our lives. This discipline is about stepping out of a comfort zone and asking someone else to walk with us so that we may not continue straying into the hands of the devil.

            So for this blogging assignment I decided that I wanted to share a pretty personal story, but something kind of ironic happened to me before I could write this blog. Our floor had an event where we all went horse back ridding. There we all sat in a big pile of hay and began sharing some of our testimonies. One girl in particular ended up sharing a pretty big secret that ended up hitting me pretty hard. It was one of those things where looking back you wish you would have stood up and said "Hey you are not alone in this, I have been struggling with the same thing in my life." But unfortunately I just sat there, not saying something I knew in my heart of hearts I should have said.

            Lets fast-forward a little bit from here, Thursday night, 9-27-12, I was walking up stairs pretty late at night grabbing my laundry because I realized that I had no pants to wear the next day and it is not the most classy of things to go pants less to class! This girl that shared her secret with us was sitting in the hall, I passed by with a casual hello and it struck me then and there that I needed to turn my butt around and tell her how brave she was and basically spill my own guts. After all was said and done we now have a date for Tuesday, 10-02-12, to really talk. It may not be about this in particular struggle we both share, but that is not the point. The point is that as Christians we need to learn how to face our battles together. No matter the struggles we have there is someone who is also struggling through the same things.

            So I bet I now have you all at the point where you are all wondering what this sin is I am kind of talking about but not exactly sharing. Well this is something for me to know and not the world quite yet. This is a sin I am still struggling with on a daily basis, something I still have to overcome, something I realize only God can get me through. But in saying this it also is an opportunity for me to open up a dialog, for us to talk through some things at a later date as well as not (for those of you who personally know me) But with all this being said I think It is time for me to continue on with other homework, plus me and my daddy are going to start reading through the bible in a year ( I am already behind way to start off strong Emily J)

-Em

**** Here is another bible verse, do you guys like these let me know*****

Isaiah 41:10

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.